


Songs for Sadness

by ATEEZpresent



Category: ATEEZ, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Custody Battle, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Seonghwa is so SO gay, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Sunha is hongjoongs daughter, Yeri is Hongjoong's ex gf ok dont @ me this is a mess, guitarist!seonghwa, hongjoong is a very single very bisexual dad, i also dont think yeri is homophobic i love her im sorry pls dont yell at me, ive made up my own laws pls dont yell at me, kang yeosang is hard ass sweetheart bff for seonghwa, she's a real sweet and really smart girl and i love her, single dad!hongjoong, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 05:20:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20700599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATEEZpresent/pseuds/ATEEZpresent
Summary: Seonghwa didn't mean to overhear the conversation between his next door neighbor and his neighbors mother, he usually keeps his window open to get some air and for the fact that the laughter of his neighbor and his daughter is insanely contagious. He couldn't help listening in on the first day that the contagious laughter disappeared, hearing the words that started everything,"Hongjoong-ah, the court heard about you being homosexual and they've decided you're not fit to be a dad. I'm sorry, but full custody of Sunha has gone to Yeri"Then the line went dead.Seonghwa never thought he could hate the sound of silence so much.





	1. 1 - Remember When

**Author's Note:**

> Song of the Chapter:
> 
> Remember When by Alan Jackson

The tension and sadness looming in every room of Seonghwa's apartment made it feel like he was being drowned in his own tears, he wasn't exactly certain when or why he had started crying, all he knew is that he couldn't stop. The sounds of his sniffles were mimicked back to him from just feet away, through the walls separating his and Hongjoong's apartment as the words Hongjoong's mother had said echoed in his brain, screaming at him from every angle he listened, "Hongjoong-ah, the court heard about you being homosexual and they've decided you're not fit to be a dad. I'm sorry, but full custody of Sunha has gone to Yeri."

Seonghwa didn't technically know Hongjoong, only Yeosang, his roommate, really knew him - or had at least spoken to him before - but he got the gist of what was going on. He knew that Yeri was Hongjoong's ex-girlfriend from all of the time they had spent laughing and talking loudly together in Hongjoong's apartment. They had lived there together for 3 years before splitting after Hongjoong had revealed to Yeri that he was bisexual. He'd heard mixed reviews on how the breakup had ended, only knowing that Yeri was both disgusted by her long-term boyfriends revelation and that she was just shy of 9 months pregnant with their child. Yeosang had spent a long time defending Hongjoong in court, hoping to get him at the very least partial custody of his and Yeri's daughter Sunha, from just after she was born up until she was 2 years old, when it was finally decided that they would both get partial custody. 

Seonghwa was relieved to hear that Hongjoong would get Sunha for the majority of the time, all week Monday to Friday, she seemed to make Hongjoong so happy. They would laugh and sing gibberish songs for hours on end, seeming to have perfect understanding and communication with each other despite the fact that Sunha couldn't speak English yet, at least not more than just saying "Appa, up" whenever she wanted to be held. Seonghwa was also thankful when he was told that Yeri hadn't used or revealed Hongjoong's sexuality to the court. 

Or at least they all thought.

What Seonghwa didn't see was all the recent text messages sent back and forth between Hongjoong and Yeri, all of the threats against Hongjoong because Yeri wanted more time with Sunha. At first the messages weren't bad, Yeri just said that she wanted some more time to spend with Sunha, which really was quite understandable as she only got to see her own daughter two days a week. Hongjoong would have agreed, but when the court was settled, very strict rules were put in place that could not be broken: Hongjoong would take care of Sunha 5 days a week, while Yeri took care of her for the other 2 days of the week. No exceptions, only visitations, which was something that Hongjoong and Yeri really didn't do. They didn't enjoy being in each others company, they could never agree on anything, and they didn't want their own tension and unwillingness to cooperate with each other to radiate off of Sunha and to have a big influence on her. She was only 4 years old. 

After a while, the texts Yeri sent became more and more menacing, she began to threaten to take Hongjoong back to court, to fight for full custody of Sunha, to prove that she could be Sunha's only parent. Many things were jabs at Hongjoong's bisexuality, saying that she didn't want her daughter to grow up with that kind of influence, that she didn't want Sunha to grow up 'thinking that she's gay just because her Appa is', with everything that was said, Yeri had never actually made a move to do much of anything more besides showing up to drop Sunha off on Monday mornings rather than Sunday nights, something that didn't really bother Hongjoong, it just meant that Sunha could get more sleep on Sunday nights rather than waking up at 9pm to change houses yet again. 

Everything had lead up to this. 

It was a Saturday night when everything had happened, Seonghwa was in his room tuning his guitar and looking over some music notes while unconsciously listening to Hongjoong humming to himself next door. When the phone rang, Hongjoong put it on speaker, talking to his mother for a few minutes before she dropped the news. 

Still replaying in his head, "Hongjoong-ah, the court heard about you being homosexual and they've decided you're not fit to be a dad. I'm sorry, but full custody of Sunha has gone to Yeri."

He couldn't believe it. Hongjoong and Yeri had been together for almost 5 years before their split and she had been one of the sweetest girls Hongjoong had ever met, he'd loved her. He never thought she would go this far. 

Before he had the time to say anything or to even shed a tear, his mother hung up the phone without so much as an 'I love you son, I'm sorry,' to her only child. Hongjoong's knees buckled under the weight of the silence in his room, dropping to the floor along with some of Sunha's toys that he had been picking up. His ears began ringing as the tears started streaming. All of the memories he'd had with Sunha, all of the things he'd wished he had changed with Yeri, everything he felt like he had taken for granted was filling his head with an extreme pressure until he couldn't take it anymore, letting out a deafening scream in agony. 

The scream Seonghwa heard was strangled, it was pained, it was lonely. He wanted to go over and see Hongjoong, to check on him, even if he didn't know him, but he felt too awkward. Hongjoong couldn't know that he had been listening in all this time, it would likely only make him angrier, so he stayed in place, doing the only thing that had calmed him down during a moment of such extreme loss in his life, he played the guitar. 

It started with a few strums, beginning to get a rhythm going as he considered all of the songs he could play, and decided on an old classic country song that his mother always sang when he was younger. The words may not be entirely relevant, but the strong sounds of the guitar for the duration of the song never failed to sooth his aching heart, and slowly he began to sing:

Remember When  
I was young and so were you  
Time stood still  
Love was all we knew  
You were the first  
So was I  
Made love and then you cried,  
Remember When

Some of the lyrics slipped from Seonghwa's mind as he focused on the sounds from next door. The loud sobs had begun to fade into slow cries and loud sniffles, telling Seonghwa that maybe, as ridiculous as it seemed, maybe it was working. 

Remember When  
Old ones died and new were born  
And life was changed  
Disassembled, rearranged  
We came together, fell apart  
And broke each others hearts  
Remember When

He listened again as he began a soft guitar solo, hearing as the cries had faded into soft sniffles mixed with restless snores. Maybe it was working, maybe it wasn't, but Seonghwa didn't plan on stopping until he knew the answer for sure.

Remember When  
The sound of little feet  
Was the music  
We danced to week to week  
Brought back the love, we found trust  
Vowed we'd never give it up  
Remember When

Silence.


	2. 2 - If I Could Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seonghwa avoids talking about the subject with Yeosang, knowing that Yeosang would likely do something he regretted if he came anywhere close to Yeri again. The thing that Seonghwa failed to remember was that Yeosang was dating Hongjoong's best friend, San, so...too little too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter:
> 
> If I Could Fly by One Direction

"HYUNG!" the sharp tone of Yeosang's angry voice filled the room, making Seonghwa sink into his spot on the couch.

"Yes Sangie?" Seonghwa said lowly, knowing damn well what was about to come from Yeosang's mouth.

Just as predicted, Yeosang was flushed in the face, pure anger radiating in his eyes as he spat the words at Seonghwa, "why the FUCK didn't you tell me that Yeri went and took full custody of Sunha yesterday? Don't "yes Sangie" me you little punk you had all of last night to tell me about it! Hongjoong is broken over there, San is trying to help him out and hold him but he's refusing to leave Sunha's room Hyung! He's been there since yesterday! He hasn't eaten and by god he got some sleep but he's so heartbroken and you KNEW! I know you knew because you always keep the fucking windows open and the entire apartment complex knew from how loud he was yelling last night! And you didn't .. you.. I-"

Yeosang broke down into tears, collapsing into Seonghwa's side and spitting apologies left and right. Seonghwa knew that Yeosang wasn't really all that mad at him, and if he were then it would likely be justified anyway, Seonghwa was Yeosang's best friend, they told each other everything, especially updates about little Sunha and Hongjoong, and having Seonghwa not tell him something like this would probably feel like a crack in their trust.

Seonghwa held him close as he felt his own tears fall. He could never handle other people crying without crying himself, especially when it came to those that he loved the most. He supposed maybe he loved Hongjoong, though it seemed rather far-fetched for him to love somebody he's never officially met. He just knew that he had an attachment to Hongjoong.

Yeosang gripped onto Seonghwa's shirt as his sobs broke off into loud sniffles, looking up into Seonghwa's eyes to see the same amount of hurt in them that he was currently experiencing. 

"Hyung you would never believe the sight over there," Yeosang mumbled, leaning his head onto Seonghwa's shoulder, finally letting his guard down as he sighed and let himself embrace the warmth of the older man next to him, "I don't know what to do, I've never gone through anything like this I don't know how to comfort him. Is there a way to comfort him?" 

Seonghwa gulped, attempting to repress his own memories of a similar night. Just as Seonghwa opened his mouth, a loud scream was heard from next door. It was definitely from Hongjoong, but this time it wasn't as lonely or as sad as it was the night before. 

It was angry. Infuriated. Hurt. Desperate. 

Seonghwa wrapped his own pinky around Yeosang's and the both of the ran out of their apartment, not bothering to knock on Hongjoong's door, barging in and running into Sunha's room to find Hongjoong on the phone. Seonghwa thought he heard the sound of Yeri's voice drowned out by Hongjoong brokenly screaming through sobs, "what the fuck do you mean you want parenting advice? She's 4 fucking years old! I thought that by now maybe you would know, you're the one that wanted custody of her are you not?" 

Seonghwa met the eyes of Yeosang's boyfriend San, who was holding tight onto Hongjoong and softly shushing him, his eyes were red and puffy and absolutely desperate to get the raging man under control so that they could find a way to get Sunha back into Hongjoong's arms. 

“Hongjoongie hyung please calm down," Yeosang whispered as he walked over to the bed where the red haired man sat, clenching a fist as a calming habit, "Sunha might hear you yelling hyung. You don't want to scare her do you?" 

Hongjoong piped down immediately, his eyes filling with tears as Seonghwa witnessed the man's body begin to shut down again, and as a soft 'Appa?' was heard in the background, immediately drowned out by Yeri demanding Sunha go to her room in a harsh tone, Hongjoong spoke again. 

"This isn't fucking over." 

Silence ensued as he hung up the phone, putting it next to him on the bed and shutting his eyes, letting himself collapse back onto the bed. 

"Hyung, Sangie and I are gonna go out for a few minutes okay? Seonghwa will stay here with you," San said, leaving a soft kiss on Hongjoong's head as he and Yeosang walked out hand-in-hand, whispering to Seonghwa that they were going to get him food and water so that he didn't pass out. 

And Seonghwa was not stupid, he knew exactly why they chose to leave him here and alone with Hongjoong. So Seonghwa sighed, looking around the room before deciding to take a seat on the piano bench placed on the other side of the room, wanting to give the younger man a bit of space so that he could calm down. 

Hongjoong was a mess. 

It was obvious how long he'd been crying - he was still crying, letting out dry sobs, no tears left - as his eyes were puffy, his entire face was red while the rest of his body was pale from dehydration and hunger. 

Seonghwa leaned back against the piano, unaware of the fact that it was on and open, causing him to play a few out of tune keys, face scrunching up in disgust at the horrendous noise. Hongjoong looked over slowly as Seonghwa let out a soft apology. The look on Hongjoong's face was contemplative and hesitant, but finally, in the softest voice Seonghwa had heard in over 24 hours, he spoke again. 

"That's Sunha's piano," he said, standing up on shaky legs and walking over to sit next to Seonghwa. Seonghwa could tell that the man was still in shock from what had just happened, so he allowed the man to rant all over the place about the songs that Sunha could play and the piano lessons that she always went to on Wednesday nights. Hongjoong played a few keys, fixing the tuning for it.

"Do you play?" Seonghwa asked carefully, making sure to lean in close to Hongjoong.

He knew that the motors in Hongjoong's head weren't running at full speed right now, so maintaining the close proximity can help create a trusting atmosphere to make sure he didn't close off or run away and to let him know that Seonghwa was there to listen. He didn't want the younger boy to feel like he had to answer and he didn't want to force him to waste his breath on long answers, causing possible hyperventilation. 

Hongjoong just snorted a bit, a sad smile on his face, "no. But I love listening to Sunha playing. It's always really nice to listen to, you know? Do you play?" 

Seonghwa shrugged, "just a little bit. I play the guitar and my guitar teacher also played the piano, so I picked up a few simple tips and tricks from him." 

Hongjoong nodded, "erm..will you play me something? Please? I-I just like the sound of the piano, it reminds me of my daughter when I hear it." 

“Of course," Seonghwa replied, setting himself up a bit closer, racking his brain for what he could possibly play and settling on a simple melody, one of the first things he was ever taught to play in full. 

As the soft and deep sounds radiated off the walls of the room, Hongjoong began to sing, picking up on what song it was. 

If I could fly   
I'd be coming right back home to you   
I think I might   
Give up everything just ask me to 

Seonghwa went into the next part of the song, the cold and smooth tone of his voice mixing beautifully with the warmer, raspier tones of Hongjoong's vocals, allowing himself to fade out his own vocals, letting Hongjoong take over the chorus. 

For your eyes only   
I'll show you my heart   
For when you're lonely   
And forget who you are 

I'm missing half of me   
When we're apart   
Now you know me   
For your eyes only 

For your eyes only 

Seonghwa drew out the final chords of the song before he stopped playing, giving his fingers a break, considering he hadn't played in a long time. 

Hongjoong spoke up yet again. 

"Yeosang told me what you've gone through." 

Silence.


End file.
